We’ve all heard the saying that the squeaky wheel gets the grease, but nobody wants to be seen as a complainer. What if you could express more assertiveness and improve your image at the same time?

There are tools you can use to be more direct that can help you have your cake and eat it, too. When you develop good communications skills, your assertiveness will be an asset for you and for those around you as well.

During stressful or difficult times, assertive people are seen as a source of comfort and direction. They know what they want and take strong steps in productive directions. This can create a calm and optimistic atmosphere that is extremely helpful. Join me today while I discuss how to be assertive in “the new normal”.

How to be Assertive and Kind

Assertiveness is about asking for what you want, but it’s much more than that. A vital part of assertiveness training is making sure everybody gets something they want. If that isn’t possible, it’s important that everyone knows they are being treated fairly.

A group of people having a productive meeting.
Assertiveness is About Asking for What You Want (Image Source: Pexels)

High self-esteem goes hand-in-hand with healthy communications skills. If you honestly believe you deserve the best, other people will believe it, too. And when you make sure everyone gets what they need, your assertiveness will help foster a positive attitude for those around you.

Assertiveness is most helpful when you have important questions that need to be addressed. Assertive behavior is an effective anxiety reduction technique. It’s hard to know how people will respond when you ask them for something. If you are polite and clear, most everyone will respond well, and this will dispel a lot of anxiety. People also tend to reflect the energy you give to them. If you are assertive and confident, it makes it easier for others to be assertive and confident, too. This security will help others like you more. When you project a calm and peaceful demeanor, the people around you will trust you more and want to keep you around.

How To Be Assertive Without Being Aggressive | Esther Perel

If you don’t know how to begin, consider getting some professional. assertiveness training. It will give you confidence and help you use good communication skills.

When you communicate effectively and don’t take advantage of others, you will find that people like doing things for you. When they know you will have their back it helps them project confidence and be happier. People appreciate healthy relationships and clear expectations.

When you know what you’re worth and ask for it in a respectful manner, people will like you more and enjoy your company, even if you expect more from them.

Self-Esteem Helps you be more Independent and Assertive

2021 is shaping up to be a challenging year. Many people are turning to freelance work to replace lost income.  It can be hard to be assertive and avoid conflict at the same time. Effective assertiveness can help you make the most of your opportunities.

A group of people sitting on concrete on a building rooftop.
Self-Esteem Helps you be more Independent and Assertive (Image Source: Pexels)

When you take the chance and tell others what your best-case scenario is, they will often surprise you with how much they can do. Even if you don’t get everything you want, setting clear expectations can help you make the most of every situation.

We miss out on every opportunity we don’t dry for. Many opportunities pass us by every day. We may even choose to let good opportunities pass us by because we are waiting for the perfect chance. Unless you are very busy, you should never let a good opportunity pass you by because you are holding out for something better. Let people know what you want, but be content with what comes your way. The opportunities you have today will prepare you for bigger and better things tomorrow.

Our country needs everyone to do the best they can. People who can project assertiveness and calm, and learning effective assertiveness are in a unique position to succeed and do amazing things.

Assertiveness will help you with your Side-Gig

One of the best ways to practice assertive behavior is by showing respect. The more you show others you respect them and act in ways that are respectable, the more likely they will be to respond favorably to you when you are assertive. You can get what you want in life if you show respect and behave in a way that makes others want you to succeed.

Be Assertive: Get What You Want | Career Mitr CM

When you do nice things for others, they will be more likely to return the favor. You can build friendships and make people more cooperative when you show them that you’re a team player.

Doing genuinely nice things for others can be difficult if you’re not used to it. Fortunately, it is easy to practice. Find people in your everyday life you can help in small ways. Pay attention to how they respond. When someone responds positively, repeat the same behavior on other people.

Everyone has a unique set of talents, so the same acts of kindness won’t work the same for everyone. Find out what your talents are and offer to help others in small ways. The more you practice the better you will get at it, and you’ll learn a lot about the people around you at the same time.

Habits are hard to break. When you build a habit of helping others and using open, honest communication, you will build trust. This will often result in a spontaneous increase in assertiveness.

Your willingness to be helpful will also help train you to say ‘no’ when you need to. It can be hard to say ‘no’, but when you are respectful and expect fair treatment, you will attract people who do the same.

Assertiveness Makes You More Successful

Effective communication skills are important if you want to be more assertive. Clear and open communication is the first step to effective negotiations.

A successful-looking businessman wearing a blue blazer.
Assertiveness Makes You More Successful (Image Source: Pexels)

One effective skill to practice is to offer alternatives instead of saying ‘no’. When someone asks me to do something I don’t want to do, I tell them what I am willing to do instead of simply turning them down. Responding with a different offer keeps the conversation going and creates new potential. I am often surprised where things lead when we just keep talking.

Assertiveness can help other people, too. Many people don’t know what they want. They may have a vague idea or have some unrealistic expectations, but no clear picture. When you are assertive it helps them get a better grip on what they want and what they are willing to do to get it.

With good assertiveness skills you can make your interactions with others more pleasant and cooperative. People will find you more attractive and interesting because you help them as you are helping yourself. They will be more likely to agree with your requests because you will have given them something of value, even if all you do is help them better understand what they want.

How can you be more assertive in your life? Make a commitment to practice one of these skills today. You may be surprised at how easy it is to build a more assertive and happier life.